Weddings, Mucus and Water Boarding

It's been eerily quiet on these pages, I know.

I've been so busy slathering my children in hand sanitizer this week that there's been little time for anything else.

Other than their daily lysol wipe downs, that is. Oh, and trying to keep them in those handy dandy automated sanitizing isolation bubbles I invented for them (told you I've been busy).

You see, in three days we will be road tripping to the tri-state area. New York, New Jersey, the city that never sleeps, blah blah blah.

Historically, when a trip to New York is planned, one or both of my children will spontaneously vomit and/or heat up to a toasty 102 degrees.

Normally, I wouldn't care so much because canceling a trip to the in-laws is hardly a tragedy. But this time, this time, we are dropping the kids off and The Husband and I are continuing on to my home town roots to attend a wedding of a high school friend.

The anxiety that comes with the thought of interacting with fellow high schoolers after more than 20 years deserves its own post, so I'll skip over that little morsel of fun.

The important thing here is that I am trying desperately to keep this family healthy for the next three days because no amount of vodka will make facing a banquet hall of high school peeps by myself seem like a good idea.

I would keep the kids home from school this week if I could, but I'm guessing the school district would frown upon a week of tv watching homeschooling.

So, The Four Year Old and The Second Grader are getting double doses of vitamins and enough hand washing to jump start an early onset of OCD.

But for me? For my health maintenance, I bring out the big guns.

Well, more like the hand crafted, nasal irrigation guns.




My beloved neti pot.

While some people may compare the process of pouring warm salt water up your nose to water boarding, I find it to be kind of like a medieval spa treatment.

And you know what they say, a nasal irrigation a day keeps the germs away.

It's pretty simple to use, actually. You fill your cute little neti pot with about a half cup of warm water mixed with about a 1/2-1 teaspoon non iodized salt. Tilting your head over a sink, you slowly pour the water in through one nostril until it comes dripping out the other nostril.

Fun, right?

I purchased my neti pot a few years ago when I was having some pretty extreme sinus pain. Because I avoid doctors whenever possible, the thought of filling my nose with water seemed like a much more sensible solution than, say, consulting a professional.

And it worked! I was pain free within hours of my first self-prescribed treatment. I had a feeling it would work because Dr. Oz said it would when he was on Oprah, so, see?, I don't completely disregard the advice of health care workers. He's a doctor AND he plays one on tv. The best of both worlds.

A few nights ago, I finally convinced The Husband to give it a whirl. Skeptical, but always willing to prove me wrong try new things, he did his part and stepped up to the kitchen sink. Unfortunately, his nose requires a more powerful tool than the ceramic neti pot, which operates on the assumption that what goes up (or in) must come down (or out). He may be better off consulting a surgeon.

So now you know what I've been up to this week. Creating a clean-house is no easy task. But between obsessive hand washing, family hazmat suits and nightly mucus cleansing, we are the poster family for good health.

At least for another three days.